Recently on Twitter I came across a thread from Erik Ottersson @anotterguy who, with input from clients and companions alike curated a list that outlines beautifully the Code of Conduct that clients should follow. Regardless of the fact that you may be a new client, a seasoned client, or wanting to reflect to see if you can do better, there will be something on this list, if not many things!
This list has been recreated with the express permission of Erik Ottersson.
Client’s Code of Conduct
Imagine that your very best friend is a sex worker – then imagine how you would like them to be treated. This is your starting point! If you can’t imagine treating someone with this level of dignity and respect, it’s probably time for some serious self-reflection.
Sex work is work, this is their regular job. Their social media presence is not there purely for your ongoing enjoyment. Respect this & do the right thing if interacting; gift cards / gifts from their wish list are a nice thank you, but don’t forget that cash pays the bills.
No dick pics – ever – In your feed, as a profile pic or in DM’s. Just don’t do it…Keep your dick to yourself unless requested.
Never ever ask for a discount. If you cannot afford her rate, then either move on or start saving your pennies (there’s nothing wrong with either approach).
Read their website before you ask questions. If ready to book, but still have questions, compose a list, then re-read their FAQs one more time before sending. Ideally sent in a single email, not one question per email at a time & in a succinct format. Don’t be a time waster.
Follow their booking instructions to the letter – most will make it very clear what they expect – don’t fall short – provide all information required.
Always plan ahead – Sexworkers have lives and are not sitting around 24/7 awaiting your call. Phoning / texting at 3am because you’re drunk and horny won’t get you very far.
Some providers don’t like pet names (babe, baby, honey, etc.); until you have a rapport, just use their name – in many cases they’ve picked one that they really like!
Be prepared with references or other requested verification information. Remember, this is for their safety. And remember – a “follow” of the provider on Twitter doesn’t count as a reference!
Don’t ask for things not on offer – respect their boundaries, whether related to services provided (e.g. asking for unprotected acts) or related to minimum booking lengths.
Do be open & let them know what you like. The most dreaded client response is “whatever you like” Just a little communication can make for a great time.
(I can’t believe I have to explain this) “Stealthing”, which is the non-consensual removal of condom during sex is sexual assault – let’s not dance around this – it’s rape. Don’t do it, but also if you hear a mate talking about this, straighten them out.
On the subject of condoms, if it’s been a while, look up how to properly use a condom.
Always offer a deposit even if not requested – expect (and offer) to pay a cancellation fee – potentially up to the full amount, if you need to cancel with little notice.
Always start your session with a shower, actually use the ! A clean client is a must.
For incalls, be on time – don’t be late, but don’t hang around their entrance for 30 minutes in advance creeping out the neighbours.
For outcalls at hotels, do be sure to include simple instructions for getting to the lifts.
If you’re running late communicate – let them know ASAP.
If you must cancel (life doesn’t always go to plan), inform them ASAP; it gives them the chance to arrange another booking.
If the sex worker needs to cancel, accept it, even at short notice. Unplanned things happen. You can always reschedule.
If you had a great time, tell her or even better, tell her, and tip her. Do not expect this to turn into ongoing dialogue for free. Want more? Easy, all you need to do is to re-book!
If you happen to encounter Sex Workers in everyday life, just keep on walking – they have everyday lives as well – don’t cross that line between their professional and private lives.
If you are the type that likes writing reviews, always ask their permission first before creating and posting. Reviews should never be a detailed account of your meeting.
If you see multiple providers, don’t discuss the other providers, or what you do with them. It’s poor form and indicates you can’t be trusted.
Be a responsible client and get regular sexual health screenings – sexual health is everyone’s responsibility – not just providers.
Support touring companions – especially if you’ve said “please come to my city”. Touring represents a large outlay & financial risk, so to avoid them cancelling, book early & get your deposit in! Otherwise you may not see amazing companions touring in the future.
There you have it, 27 of the Golden Rules for a Client’s Code of Conduct. Want to comment on this blog? Perhaps there is something you think should be added, well let us know in the comments box below.
Wanting more information on how to sharpen your communication skills or deepen your knowledge of client etiquette? Then have a read of our Etiquette page or Etiquette is an escorts foreplay and the blog pieces 7 Hints and Tips on how not to text your escort and How do I book an escort by Georgie Wolf