Safe, Sexy & Satisfying Spanking
The Mistress Joysin Way
There are many different styles of spanking, but I am going to solely focus on the way that I feel appeals to the widest audience. Spanking with Mistress Joysin is fun, sexy and playful with no marks or hard pain to worry about and it’s a great lead-up to sex or further impact.
Whilst you are both clothed, I want you to work out some ground rules. You need to know what intensity the spankee is happy with and will show your trustworthiness by honouring this. Ask if touching genitals is okay and assure them you respect their ‘no’ or ‘not this time’. At no point will you try to move this agreement during the session as their ability to consent may be clouded by euphoria.
Next, you need to go over safe words (I use the traffic light system) and assure them that you will stop, no questions asked if they call “RED”. Lastly, you will assure them that you will be looking for non-verbal signs of distress and that you will call RED for them if you believe they are putting up with more than they are comfortable with just to please you.
Okay, now we are ready to begin. The person you are spanking is clothed, in underwear or naked if they are comfortable with that and they are standing or bending over something or across your knee. You, the spanker, are likely clothed or in your underwear.
Spanking with Mistress Joysin – Tips!
- Look at the butt you are about to spank. Visually locate the crease where the tops of the thighs meet the butt. Rub your hand over this spot with gently increasing to moderate pressure; stretch your hand out so that the genitals from behind are in the middle of your hand. This is so that when you get to moderate strength spanking, the spankee will also experience a sensation in their genitals.
- All of your spankings will be with an upwards flick of the palm. Do not ever spank downwards, because if you miss, you may hit their lower back or tailbone. It is important to keep your ego under control and no matter how long you’ve been spanking, always bear in mind that no-one has 100 percent accuracy 100 percent of the time.
- The very biggest mistake that people make with any kind of impact is leading with their hardest stroke to prove how strong they are. This is the quickest way to lose the trust of the spankee. Think of your role as creating a symphony of sensations and emotional states that ebb and flow and journey towards a crescendo of ecstasy.
Here are your styles, which you can cycle through many times during a session:
- Gentle, slow massaging
- Soft, playful slaps
- Moderate pressure anti/clockwise rubs
- Plant your elbow on your hip and flick your slightly cupped palm upwards at the wrist
- If the area is pinky/red, create a cooling sensation by gently rubbing with an ice cube
- Rotate pace and pressure – soft, soft, medium, soft, medium, soft, medium, medium etc
- Give an isolated hard slap followed immediately by caressing the genitals (if allowed)
- End by stating you are giving X amount of hard slaps and that they will be counting aloud
- Follow with a reassuring cuddle and let them know how proud you are of them
For more by Mistress Joysin see her previous blog – A finger in the butt: what will people think of me?